I first realised I was struggling when I was in primary school. I started to have panic attacks and didn’t want to go to school because I was so nervous. I decided to reach out to my teacher at school who got me to start seeing the well-being team at my school.
The biggest impact would probably be becoming homeless and also being neurodivergent. I had to leave my toxic family environment which, sadly, left me homeless. This impacted my journey significantly, not being able to have a safe place to go when it was needed. I feel like being neurodivergent impacted my journey as well, mainly because the therapy that I was doing and the companies I was with were not supporting my needs that were meant to help me feel safe and calm.
Something that I’m proud of is being able to say that I’m coming out on the other side! I’m also very grateful for the team that I have, and the therapies that I have done, such as DBT, which was amazing. I’ve done schema therapy which I also found very helpful for my C-PTSD.
I wish people understood that we are still people. Just because we have a mental illness, it does not mean we are ‘broken,’ ‘lazy,’ ‘attention seeking,’ or all the other ones that have been said. I also wish people knew that we didn’t want this illness. We did not choose to have these illnesses.
I’ve faced a lot of guilt on my journey, mainly around feeling left behind and like I didn’t get to experience my teenage years due to my mental health. As well as this, I face a lot of self-esteem issues with my illness. I feel that, sometimes, if people know what illness I have they will leave (which I’m overcoming).
The most helpful thing I’ve found on my journey would be finding hobbies that I can use to distract myself that don’t take up a lot of energy! Such as knitting or colouring so I can distract myself and still be able to do it when I have low energy. Also, fidget toys!! I absolutely love fidget toys and I use them all the time. Most of the time they help keep me grounded and in the present moment! Noise-cancelling headphones are also really helpful if you are noise-sensitive!
To anyone going through a similar situation, my advice is to go straight through it! Sit with it. And reach out for help! Going through this sucks, but you can get better and there is hope if you’re still breathing. Know that it’s okay to feel like you’re behind, and remember you’re enough.
Now, I’ve finally been able to study again. This means I have started studying to be a mental health worker; a lived experience peer worker. Recovery has given me the opportunity to start using my experience to help others during difficult times!
One of my favourite quotes to help me get through tough times is, “You haven’t come this far to just come this far.” And to anyone struggling, remember that you are loved, you are enough and you always deserve support and help.
-Jessie
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