*Thank you to Dominee for allowing us to share this piece. You can see more of her writing here and her website here.*
Let’s do a social media inventory! As an online business owner with depression and anxiety – I really thought that my biggest struggle as a creator (especially in regard to burnout) was finding the energy and creativity to create on a constant basis.
The reality is that social media is often the biggest drain on me. It has really reinforced how important it is to create social media as a ‘space’ in our lives. Who we invite into that space, what we put into that space, and how much time we spend in that space.
This year I’ve been doing a social media inventory every few weeks.
It’s made a huge difference. My mantra is, “I do not owe anyone access to me, my work, or my time.”
I don’t owe anyone access to my words or my art. If they’re not respectful to me as a person then they have no right to benefit from the things that I create. That’s been an incredibly hard lesson for me to learn, especially as a people pleaser.
I used to tell myself that people who lash out are the ones that need my work the most. So I wouldn’t block them. I thought I was being kind and compassionate and a ‘good’ person. What I’ve come to realise is that when I do that, I’m not loving myself the way I should be.
When we create boundaries for the first time – enforcing them feels mean. Then, we try to talk ourselves out of those boundaries:
- “Am I hurting their feelings?”
- “What if they think I’m mean?”
- “Am I being too harsh?”
But do you know what I never asked myself? How I feel. How do I feel when someone says something rude or abusive online? Or how does it affect me when I second-guess and overthink everything I post in an effort to not be on the receiving end of those comments?
Here’s how we do a social media inventory:
- We look at our social media practices and platforms and we ask ourselves – what’s not making us happy.
- Are the people, groups, and pages we follow lifting us up? Sometimes we outgrow the online spaces we used to love and that’s okay! Maybe you joined a page that’s about something you used to really enjoy but now seeing posts make you feel sad or guilty – you’re allowed to unfollow.
- Make sure that your online spaces lift you up.
Over the last few months, I’ve followed tons of pages that reflect my current interests and my enjoyment of social media has increased so much.
Sometimes we need the reminder to ask ourselves: Does this make me happy?
Today is a good day to reassess how social media is making you feel.
And here are some reminders:
- It’s okay to block people
- It’s okay to turn off notifications
- And it’s okay to unfollow accounts that you’ve outgrown or that no longer give you happy feelings
- It’s okay to spend more time on social media (or less time)
All that matters is that you feel happy and nourished.
Here’s a free social media inventory worksheet!
-Dominee
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