Uncertainty can come in many shapes and forms. For me, this season of uncertainty started with losing my job. I had never loved a job before the way I loved this job. I had never had a job that felt rewarding or felt like home until I worked at the rescue farm.
At the end of April 2024, my time working on the farm came to a very sad and unfortunate end as my work had to downsize due to the current economy. This meant my workmate and I lost our jobs and my boss became a sole trader. It’s such a shame this is happening to so many businesses. It really is heartbreaking.
I started working at the rescue farm on the 11th of October 2021. I did animal-assisted therapy with kids and teens through the school terms and holiday programme over the school breaks. I worked with not only the kids and teens but also very closely caring for all the animals. My time at the farm was filled with the most precious memories, endless love, and laughs. Like any job, stress, pressures, and challenges came as well as sadness due to the deaths of animals. There were many challenges and situations outside of my comfort zone, but these challenges and situations brought new perspectives and growth. I have special, interesting and funny farm stories that’s for sure. The farm brought the most beautiful new connections and bonds with animals and people over the years. It’s been incredibly rewarding seeing the kids and animals grow and develop more confidence. They are truly amazing and so special.
The farm is also how Hunter (my dog) and I found each other. At six months old, Hunter was surrendered to the rescue farm and I offered to foster him. That same day, he came home with me and joined me at the farm with me every work day since. It very quickly became clear that we both needed each other and I had fallen in love with Hunter. I adopted Hunter and we have been together ever since.
Losing my job at the farm meant losing a big part of my life, although I’m thankful to still be able to go up to the farm to visit everyone and all the animals. This change will definitely be a process to work through. I am incredibly thankful for all that the farm has brought me and done for me through the highs and lows over the years.
For now, I’m in a season that feels so uncertain. Not working at the farm has really sunk in now and left me feeling broken, without a purpose, and like a part of me is missing. As I struggle a lot with my mental health, I don’t feel ready to jump into a new job just yet. Since I am not working, I know I have to be extra cautious with my mental health as I have a lot more downtime which can lead to spiralling thoughts, intrusive thoughts, and too much time in my head. I’m trying to be aware of my warning signs which I think is super important to be aware of to help prevent distress or a potential crisis. I’ve been trying to stay busy and stay connected with people to make sure I don’t start isolating. My dog gets me out every day - we try to go on new adventures and explore together. I’m also attending therapy weekly and learning new skills to help me cope with my mental health.
I don’t know what kind of challenges you’re facing right now, or what season of uncertainty you are in - if you’re feeling lost, or stuck, or maybe you’re feeling it all. Whatever you are going through, please remember things won’t always be this way. You WILL get through this. You WILL come out the other side. I know it doesn’t feel like it, it feels like you’re barely hanging on by a thread, completely exhausted with an aching heart and a destructive mind but you WILL come out the other side of this. You will come out stronger, with more awareness, more understanding and new skills to tackle whatever life throws your way. You are meant to be here, you can fight this fight and you CAN win! Keep going!
Lots of love,
-Leticia
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