The cult-classic film Jumanji was released in December of 1995. I was in the 5th grade at the time, and took an instant liking to the film. Little did I know then just how much my life would parallel the general story structure of that movie, beginning just two short years later.
At age 12, I developed a rather obnoxious medical issue. I was given medication from the doctor, and it took care of the problem. Great, right? We all thought so at the time. However, no one had any idea that my taking the medication simply traded one problem for a series of others. I eventually had a hysterectomy at age 33. Again, we thought this would take care of the problems, and again, it only took care of one problem. How can I begin to condense a life-long series of events into a readable blog? Whew… I’ll do my best.
The general bit of it is that my medical issues are hormonal ones. There is a genetic component to ADHD, and I swear my father (rest his soul) had it, too, but that wasn’t even on my radar until later in life. Looking back now with my relatively recently-acquired knowledge, I can see very clearly the timeline of events. With each major hormonal shift, I had a drastic increase in symptoms, particularly with the ADHD. Though, at the time of each occurrence, I explained it away with alternate logic. For example, the first major shift was the first time my medication was changed between my first and second years of college. During my freshman year, I had perfect grades, never skipped class, and was generally as I had always been. During my sophomore year after the medication switch in the summer, my grades dropped causing me to lose an academic scholarship, I started skipping class, not completing assignments, and changes in my appearance occurred. I excused it away by thinking that I was just getting into the groove of having new friends, growing older, and things like that. Other major hormonal shifts included, but are not limited to, additional changes in medication due to their losing effectiveness, having surgery, going into menopause at age 35 (though it was not brought on by the surgery; my body did that all on its own), having medication for menopausal symptoms, etc. I was also diagnosed with ADHD at age 37, and wow did that answer a lot of questions for me in regards to my thoughts and behaviours. Honestly, I wonder if I would have ever known I had ADHD if it weren’t for the hormonal issues. The ADHD was easy to manage when I was younger, but each time my hormones had a major change, the ADHD became increasingly difficult to manage. This was particularly frustrating when I had no diagnosis. Cancelling plans that I was looking forward to because I could not get myself together, being otherwise and generally unreliable, difficulty performing work tasks, difficulty taking care of my home, etc., all of which were things I never had issues with in childhood or early adulthood, but which became so intense after so many hormonal shifts, that I could hardly function. Even the simplest of tasks required an astronomical amount of effort, and sometimes, I just didn’t know how to give that effort. I never want to use anything like that as an excuse, but it is often an explanation; an explanation that I am very thankful to have.
In desperation for something—anything—to help with my seemingly never-ending battle, I went to one last doctor. After 26 years of doctor after doctor, and test after test, this blessed woman knew in 10 minutes exactly what was wrong with me, ordered the blood tests to confirm it, then went right on to treatment.
In the Jumanji movie, a middle school-aged kid gets pulled into a board game with a terrible jungle to navigate and survive, 26 years later someone rolls the dice and gets him out, he still has to deal with some of the jungle elements for a while as they finish the game, then everything is fine again. In my life, I was a middle school-aged kid when I got pulled into a terrible jungle of hormonal issues, 26 years later (literally, age 12 to 38) I finally found a doctor who knew how to get me out. I’m still dealing with some of the hormonal jungle elements during treatment, but I have true hope for the first time ever, that the game will finally come to a resolution. What will that look like for me? I have no idea; but I am excited to find out. I may never be 'cured' as such, and if that’s the case, that’s okay; I’m just thankful for something to help make life a little easier to navigate.
So to anyone out there who has been dealing with something for a long time, please do not give up. New knowledge and medical advancements are coming about every day, and someone, somewhere, knows something that might help you. Please do not give up. While I certainly hope it doesn’t take anyone else 26 years to find a solution like it did in my case, I can tell you that regardless of how long it takes, you are worth the time and effort it takes to find what will help you.
Much love,
-Mary Beth
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