Grief is a powerful emotion. Along with it comes sadness, pain, and loss. The Oxford Dictionary defines grief as ‘intense sorrow.
I lost a good friend at the beginning of 2018. I was 16 at the time, and, being quite young, I didn’t know how to properly take on board and cope with what had happened.
I did A LOT of therapy, and I have managed this grief very well, especially for someone who is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. But I still have my days where the ‘intense sorrow’ comes back.
Yesterday morning, I woke up, fine, and had a really good sleep. Then, the strangest, almost sort of intrusive thought came into my head.
As a survivor of abuse in the past, I’ve always remembered that after seven years every single cell in your body has regenerated, so anyone from seven years ago has no longer touched you. That wasn’t the intrusive part, the intrusive part was that early next year will be seven years since my good friend passed. It would have been seven years since I last touched him. And I would no longer have a single cell on my body that would have been touched by him.
Grief is a challenge to deal with. Because you think you have to try so, so hard to outweigh the good with the bad, and try so hard to be positive in a negative situation.
But sometimes you just need to let the emotions come and go. And I did. I cried. And cried. As anyone would in this situation. Because it’s okay to cry. And it’s okay to feel sad and upset about the loss of someone you cared about. You don’t need to put on a tough face and pretend you’re not hurting. Just feel what you need to feel, and carry on. Carry on remembering your positive memories you have with them. Write them down in graphic detail. Every positive memory, conversation, text, phone call. Hold on to them.
And remember to breathe, it’s okay to grieve.
If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, look up bereavement groups in your area, and make sure to get help. Please don’t be discouraged or feel ashamed that you’re struggling.
Sending love and strength.
-Jasmine
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