Recovery - It's Messy and Beautiful

Trigger warning: this piece discusses themes of anorexia, depression, suicidal ideation, and trauma. 

Lately, it’s been hard. I’ve been experiencing thoughts and urges around anorexia again - something I thought I had completely recovered from. I’ve hit another low with my depression and suicidal ideation as well as past trauma coming up. I feel so consumed by stress and worry, everything feels so uncertain and out of my control. It’s incredibly hard not to let these kinds of things get you down and suck you into a dark hole. It can be so easy to want to keep these struggles a secret and isolate yourself from the world but the bravest thing you can do is to break the silence. Speak up, talk to someone you trust or a helpline. Accept that you need help and that seeking help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you strong!

Please know that you do not need to feel ashamed or guilty for struggling with something you thought you had recovered from. Recovery isn’t linear. Recovery is messy and probably one of the hardest and most exhausting things to go through. Yet at the same time, recovery is also beautiful and so worth it. It’s so beautiful to see your colour coming back, so beautiful to see that sparkle return to your eyes. The world needs to see your beautiful smile again and hear your infectious laugh. I know these things most likely won’t return instantly, it takes time but these things are worth fighting for.

So please fight. Fight for the moments of happiness you are yet to experience. fight for love and connection. Fight to bring back your spark. Fight for a chance to share your story of hope with someone who needs to hear it. Fight for you because you matter. Your life is worth fighting for and you deserve to be free and feel happiness.

You are not alone and you are meant to be here. x


Voices of Hope wants you to know that you do not have to do this alone. Click here to 'find help' - it's not weak to speak!

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