Trigger warning: this piece discusses themes of self-harm and disordered eating.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) seems to carry a lot of stigma with the diagnosis, and I’m sure, just like me, some of you may feel down about the diagnosis. But I’m here to share my story and how I have improved my overall quality of life!
The biggest factor for me wasn’t counselling or DBT or medication (although these are all important and I LOVE DBT, everyone should have access to this in the ideal world!), the biggest change in my life came from distancing myself from anyone who treated me poorly. I started surrounding myself with strong-minded, determined individuals who have strong boundaries, and finding coping strategies. For me, it felt like a challenge to get out of the negative cycle I was stuck in - drinking, self-harm, bad relationships, disordered eating, the works. But once I took that first step, everything was so much lighter. I didn’t realise how much pain I was causing myself by holding onto those things (ironically).
Yes, things are still very hard! But compared to ten years ago, or even five years ago, I am a completely different person. I am working on making new friends, I am in a healthy relationship, I haven’t self-harmed in almost two years, I am overall a happier and better person than I have ever been.
I suppose what I want to get across to anyone who may read this, is that things do get better, even if you have your ups and downs as we all do. In those moments of feeling intense despair or emptiness, distraction is key. Doing anything and everything to settle your impulses in those moments will be your saviour. My outlet for these moments is rocking back and forwards, having a very hard stress ball in both hands, and listening to some hard rock music! Give yourself time to calm down, don’t leave the spot until you have.
-Aimee A
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