The many stigmas around borderline personality disorder (aka BPD) can seem quite daunting. The lying stereotypes that make us seem like bad people, that we are portrayed as a negative. But what about the brighter side of borderlines?
Before I start, I’m not going to make out that having BPD is an amazing thing to be diagnosed with. It’s one of the more challenging mental health issues some of us face. But I’ve found there is beauty in such a scary diagnosis.
I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 20. For years, I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Some days were scary, as naturally, anyone else with the same thing would find things scary. But it is manageable, and it is possible to be able to handle the powers that it brings you.
‘Powers?’ You may ask. Not exactly invisibility or being able to fly, no. But the power to feel as deeply as we do. The power of true empathy. It wasn’t until I started my new job in April this year as a support worker, that I realised this power of feeling every emotion at a 100% level would be for better than for worse. I work in the ISS unit as a support worker with youths who have truly experienced some deep trauma. A lot of them need support to feel wanted and feel like they have meaning.
This is where this ‘super power’ comes in. While yes, with BPD we feel intense rage, intense sadness, but we also feel intense empathy, intense compassion, and when we help people, the joy it brings is also intense. Being borderline and doing this job helps create a sense of self, being able to uplift the youth I support brings meaning to my life, and has helped me with this diagnosis.
This is what I like to think of the beautiful side of being borderline. We aren’t bad people. We aren’t out to hurt the people we love. Because in fact we can love and care strongly, and use our deep emotions for the better, and find a deeper sense of self that we’ve been looking for!
Anyone else who’s reading this with the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder - you are not a bad person for feeling the emotions you feel. You will have your good and bad days as we all do. But do not fear how deep your emotions are, it’s a beautiful power that only we can do, and it can be for good once we learn how to use it.
Keep fighting, it gets easier I promise x
-Jasmine
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