While I have had experiences with mental health issues for a lot of my life, it wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s that I really noticed that I was struggling. I had gone back to school and was admitted into a program that I loved, with classmates and professors that I truly enjoyed being around. It became obvious after a few months that something wasn’t right for me mentally, and, eventually, it got to a point where I realised I couldn’t navigate it on my own anymore.
One of the professors in my program was very intentional about telling our class that we were enough, no matter what grades we got or how we did on an exam. When I started really struggling, she was the one that helped me. She helped me figure out how to find a therapist, checked in on me frequently, and like she did in class, she consistently reminded me that I was enough and that I would get through it.
Getting through my first major episode of depression taught me many lessons, big and small. I think the one I am most proud of, however, is the knowledge and belief that on the other side of those difficulties, there truly is something better. It was so hard for me to see that before – I didn’t think that a future existed at all. I have to be very intentional about doing the work to maintain my mental health, but when I hit rough patches I have the knowledge that I was able to get through it once and can do so again – however many times that is.
More than almost anything else, I am most grateful for the knowledge and belief I gained after getting over the most difficult part of my journey: the knowledge that I can get through these difficulties again because I did it before, and the belief in myself to continue to try.
The most helpful resource in my healing journey is also what led me to discover Voices of Hope: learning about the journeys of other people. I was initially so taken aback by how intensely I was affected by my mental health struggles and was very lost. My professor who kickstarted my healing journey shared her own personal story with me. She encouraged me to find books or podcasts that focused on these topics. Eventually, I stumbled upon Voices of Hope and became a huge supporter, knowing that this type of resource is the thing that helped me the most. One additional comfort in my healing journey… my dog.
I was able to finish my degree program and graduated with the rest of my class, which was my primary goal when I started pursuing recovery (besides recovering mentally, which was the ultimate goal). Now that I’m doing better, I’m looking forward to the future - something I didn’t see for myself at all when I was in the worst part of my illness. I want to get married, have kids and more dogs, and find joy in the small things in life.
Mental health difficulties are so common but still so misunderstood. I truly wish that people understood that mental health problems/illnesses do not discriminate and can happen to anyone. I myself was guilty of the belief that something significant needed to happen for mental illness to come on, but that wasn’t the situation for me. Looking back, I am able to begin to understand my own situation, but that wasn’t the case initially. Rather than continuing to treat mental health like something to be ashamed of, I wish society would understand that it can affect any of us, no matter where we are in life. So many of us may struggle but we don’t have to do it silently.
Despite having gotten through the most difficult part of my journey, I still have to consistently and intentionally put in extra effort to maintain (or improve) my mental health. I have people in my life who believe that I must be ‘healed’ now that I am no longer in the place that I was, but that’s certainly not the case for me. I have to remain persistent and dedicated to making sure I continue on a positive trajectory.
If I could give one piece of advice to someone in a similar situation, it would be to keep going – keep fighting, keep believing, and keep advocating for yourself. I know it is so hard to believe that you will get through some of the struggles but it IS worth it, even if you have to work through some very difficult situations. There is another side to the struggles you are facing now, and life can become so much better than you believe in this moment.
When I was struggling pretty significantly, my therapist wrote this at the end of an email she sent to me: “You are strong, you are resilient, and you are worthy.” Those were all things I had stopped seeing in myself, and the written reminder from someone who was watching me in my most difficult period of life was something I held close to my heart (and still do).
It might be so hard to see it when you are in the middle of tough times, but please know and believe that there truly are better things on the other side of it. It may require extra work, but it is so worth it.
-Jaci
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