To my younger self, 

I know how heavy everything feels right now. The shame you’ve been made to carry, the silence forced upon you, and the way you feel like you don’t belong in your own skin after sexual abuse—it’s unbearable at times. But I need you to hear this: you are not the pain that’s been inflicted on you. You are not weak or broken because of what you’ve survived.

The world will try to make you forget the power of your brown skin. It will tell you it’s not enough, that it’s something to hide, to lighten, to shrink. But our brown skin is a map of everything we’ve endured and overcome. It carries the richness of our ancestors, the wisdom of every woman who came before us. It is sacred, powerful, and breathtakingly beautiful. One day, you’ll wear it like jewels, with a pride so fierce that no one’s judgment or shame can touch it.

Right now, it might feel like you have to choose between being seen and being safe. Between honouring your culture and fitting into a world that doesn’t always celebrate it. But you’ll come to realize that you carry stories of courage, softness, and joy that the world desperately needs. One day, you’ll move through life unapologetically, holding every part of yourself with love.

The pain you feel doesn’t end with you. It is part of something bigger—a generational wound carried by so many South Asian women. But here’s the beautiful truth: healing doesn’t end with you either. When you choose yourself, when you speak your truth, when you reclaim the sacred parts of yourself, you are healing not just for yourself, but for every woman who came before and after you. You will be the ancestor that women draw strength from one day.

The relationships in your life will shape you in ways that surprise you. Some will hurt. Some will leave scars. But others will teach you what love and tenderness look like. Let the people who celebrate your melanated skin, your culture, and your voice into your life. These are the ones who will remind you that you are never alone on this journey.

Learning to advocate for yourself will feel terrifying at first. Your voice will shake. But every time you speak up, every time you say “no,” set a boundary, or tell your truth, you will get stronger. You’ll learn that your voice is not just for you—it’s a gift for others who still feel silenced.

One day, you’ll reconnect with the parts of yourself that were taken or hidden. You’ll embrace your sensuality as sacred, your culture as a gift, and your skin as divine. You’ll create magic that reminds others that their bodies, voices, and stories matter too. You are the prayer your ancestors whispered into the world. You are worthy of love, of healing, of joy, of everything life has to offer. Hold on. There’s so much waiting for you on the other side of this pain.

With all my love,
Ashley