I am writing this letter to share my journey with mental health as a young person in New Zealand, with the hopes that sharing my experiences can offer a sense of hope to those who are facing similar struggles now. Mental health can be so isolating especially when you are young and facing so many changes and challenges already - I hope my stories can offer a new perspective and help someone out there feel seen, hopeful, and understood. 

It’s weird looking back on my own mental health journey now as a lot of it was a blur. Before I was able to understand, my Grandma put me in therapy. This was from age five - seven due to being through foster care, family violence and the active drug addiction I witnessed. This also affected my four younger siblings from a young age.

For me, my larger mental health journey started when I was 12 years old, although I don’t think I knew it was happening. It was small things like not sleeping, not wanting to socialize with friends or family, being too anxious to go to school or leave the house at all and suicidal thoughts. Mental health wasn’t a big topic with my friends or family at the time and a lot of the “symptoms” were normal for a pre-teen so no one really questioned anything. I was so isolated and I felt so alone and like no one else understood how I was feeling. I wish more people felt comfortable to speak about their experience with mental health because you never know if something you’ve been through can benefit someone who’s feeling so low.

The turning point for me came when I was 13 years old, my Grandma found my suicide note and honestly very calmly took me to get help. I remember going to a small office building near the Palmerston North Hospital (Child adolescent family services ( CAFS) ) and feeling confused, overwhelmed and scared. I went through a screening test with a psychologist and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and depression, insomnia, and PTSD - I was prescribed medication and given a counselor and a treatment plan to help my diagnosis. My experience with CAFS showed me that it's hard to accept help when you’re not the one seeking it, and that you can always go back when you are ready and find peace and systems
that work for you.

If I could offer advice to my younger self, it would be that things do get better and it's okay to engage in the services offered to you. Reach out and talk to close/trusted family and friends, you'd be surprised how many people love and support you, and it will all be okay.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope my stories can resonate with someone and that they can find strength in knowing they’re not alone.

Thank you again,
Eni